I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (1998, Danny Cannon)

 

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That crazy fisherman is still not dead and he still knows. So even when our heroes go to the Bahamas, he still stalks them because he still can't let go.

Starring  Jennifer Love Hewitt, Brandy, Mekhi Phifer, Freddie Prinze Jr, Bill Cobbs

Written by  Trey Callaway     

Produced by  Neal H Moritz, Erik Feig, Stokely Chaffin, William S Beasley

Duration  101 minutes   

   

 

 

Let's face it, a film like I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER has the odds stacked against it.

There's the assumption that a sequel will be rubbish. Yes, we all know the ones that turned out great and arguably better than the original, like ALIENS (agree), TERMINATOR 2 (disagree) and THE GODFATHER: PART II (too close to call). But the vast majority of follow-ups are either disappointing when compared to what came before or just plain bad.

And that anti-sequel prejudice becomes more pronounced the faster the new film arrives. I'm not talking about ones that were filmed together, like BACK TO THE FUTURE PARTS II and III or the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy or the second and third MATRIXS – those were pre-planned. I mean the one-year gap between the first two SCREAM movies, or between all of the first eight FRIDAY THE 13THS, except parts three and four and parts six and seven (when they left a whole two years between entries). Or how the first six NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREETS span a mere seven-year period.

So, it does tend to be horror franchises that ruthlessly churn 'em out. And yes, they do mostly suffer from diminishing returns.

But before I dismiss quickie horror sequel I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (released 13 months after the original), two other part twos come to mind, both unfairly written off in the annals of film history: GHOSTBUSTERS 2 and PREDATOR 2.

Someday, I'm going to do a scientific study. I'm going to watch GHOSTBUSTERS and GHOSTBUSTERS 2 back to back and log each time there's a good bit: a funny line, a memorable delivery, a genuine scare. Because I've watched the latter as many times as the former and I swear to God there is no drop in quality, none whatsoever. It may be a carbon copy in many ways, but before it resets to formula it does an imaginative (and hilarious) job of following through with its "five years later" premise. And with all the major players back in front of and behind the camera, they know how to make that formula enjoyable.

PREDATOR 2, meanwhile, was dismissed as a cash-in because neither Arnie or director John McTiernan returned. But what Stephen Hopkins delivered actually has a better cast (Danny Glover! Gary Busey! Bill Paxton! Maria Conchita Alonso! Ruben Blades! Robert Davi! Adam Baldwin! Steve Kahan!) and a sweaty, near-future urban milieu unique to itself. It should be terrible; it has virtually no plot and skips having a second act altogether, instead just rushing from set up to resolution without worrying about narrative development or escalation. But I love it!

Both those movies are also often referenced by unimaginative critics as a way of giving backhanded compliments to the franchise's legacy sequels, trawling out the trite observation "well, it's not great, but at least it's better than part two!" (See also: the criminally underrated INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM.)

The LAST SUMMER series itself is now receiving the legacy sequel treatment, too. But whatever the context, I was determined to avoid making any lazy assumptions about the quality of I STILL KNOW.

Silly me.

Let's start with the good. Jennifer Love Hewitt is a solid lead (she's back for the 2025 edition, having ducked out of the DTV part three), resourceful and compelling, more than capable of shouldering a multi-entry horror franchise like her Party of Five alumni Neve Campbell has been with SCREAM. Brandy, famous for singing 'The Boy is Mine', is a charismatic addition to the I STILL KNOW cast. For a while, it's fun to play 'spot the character actor': John Hawkes, Bill Cobbs, Jeffrey Combs, Mark Boone Junior ... um, how about a dreadlocked Jack Black, overacting as usual and playing Drexel from TRUE ROMANCE as in a weak SNL sketch? And, well, the Bahamas-during-monsoon-season setting is novel for a slasher. And ... er ... Freddie Prinze Jr also returns? Yay?

Unfortunately, quirky casting and impressive location scouting are about all I STILL KNOW has going for it. 

So now onto the bad.

Its first sin is opening with a cheap fake-out opening, as JLH is attacked in a dream and wakes up having fallen asleep in her college class. From this inauspicious start, things never pick up. There is no suspense. There is no sense of dread. The jump scares barely elicit a tremor. And there are no decent kills – well, unless you count Jack Black’s, but only because it's satisfying to see him go. And Mekhi Phifer and Matthew Settle are saddled with the thankless roles of 'horny, insensitive jock' and 'no personality beyond wishing he was Freddie Prinze Jr', doing no one any favours. I spent most of the movie idly wondering how many of the poor cast came down with hypothermia due to every scene taking place in the pouring rain.

Plus, serious minus points for forcing a horrible alt-rock cover of New Order's 'Blue Monday' upon us during a cheesy 90's clubbing scene, following the original movie's butchering of ‘Summer Breeze’ by Seals & Crofts. Much more painful than anything a hook-handed grudge-bearing homicidal maniac could dole out.

Alright, alright. So sometimes our negative assumptions about movies do turn out to be correct. But hey – every now and then we're pleasantly surprised and get possessed bathtubs, sentient paintings and rivers of slime; or an alien hunter administering self-surgery in an elderly lady's bathroom while she hesitates outside brandishing a broom. A little misplaced optimism's gotta be worth the chance of getting that kind of stuff, hasn't it?

Next time you want a franchise sequel set in the Bahamas, go for JAWS: THE REVENGE. (Note: JAWS: THE REVENGE is a little underrated, but this is not a recommendation.) 

One star out of five.

Additional: There used to be a trend for naming sequels with 'too' instead of '2', to imply 'as well'. SPLASH TOO, TEEN WOLF TOO, LOOK WHO'S TALKING TOO... so why didn't they do that here to both stop the title being chronological gibberish? I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER TOO sounds like a much better movie, maybe one that could have mixed things up by introducing a new villain.

Valid use of the word ‘last’?  JLH actually points out the inaccuracy herself by explaining how "two summers ago, we (etc etc)". Poor show, whoever signed off on that title, I'm telling you.

What would a movie called I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID FIRST SUMMER be about?  Excessive pride about having such a good memory for early-years details.

Previously:  LAST EXIT TO BROOKLYN

Next time:  THE LAST TREE

Check out my books:  Jonathanlastauthor.com

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (1997, Jim Gillespie)

 

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Four young friends are stalked by a hook-wielding maniac a year after killing a man in a road accident (or at least they thought he was dead …)

Starring  Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinze Jr, Bridgette Wilson

Written by  Kevin Williamson

Produced by  Neal H Moritz, Erik Feig, Stokely Chaffin

Duration  101 minutes

I have a soft spot for slasher movies. I would call them a guilty pleasure, if I'd ever felt guilty about watching one.

Although the first genuine slasher was BLACK CHRISTMAS four years prior, the genre’s golden period began in 1978 when HALLOWEEN became the highest-grossing independent movie of all time. The imitators came thick and fast; some holiday-season-based, some not. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET birthed a worthwhile franchise; FRIDAY THE 13TH’s results were more mixed. Various standalones clambered above the pack: let me direct you towards HELL NIGHT, THE BURNING, BLOOD RAGE, SLEEPAWAY CAMP, MY BLOODY VALENTINE and THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE.

Now, here's the thing. These are the years those six films I just listed were released: 1981, 1981, 1987, 1983, 1981 (again!) and 1982.

Notice a pattern? Sheer unabashed '80-ness is big factor in slasher success. More than a couple of years back into the previous decade, you get '70s grittiness – good in its own way, but a different proposition. And stepping forward lands you slap bang in the mire of '90s blandness, where something that would have been a delicious cheesefest 10 years before ends up being completely tasteless (but not in the good way). 

Yes, by the mid ’90s, the slasher was well and truly on its last mutilated legs, clogged up with inferior HALLOWEEN and HELLRAISER sequels and dire straight-to-video efforts. Then along came SCREAM in 1996 and a brief second-coming for the genre, with 1997’s I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER one of the next out the traps.

LAST SUMMER has a screenplay by SCREAM’s Kevin Williamson, this time with the irony left out – unless you think it's ironic to be killed by someone who you thought you yourself had killed. (More like poetic justice – it’s a thin line.)

The movie does not inspire optimism by opening with a bombastic cliffside wave-crashing panorama set to a nu-metal cover of Seals & Crofts ‘Summer Breeze’. And things don’t improve any upon meeting the four leads. As soon as they open their mouths, out comes the tedious self-awareness and unrealistic verbosity Williamson’s teenagers were known for, an overwritten cadence that integrated itself into America’s film and TV landscape and can still be found today synthetically lengthening any number of Netflix original series. The ‘Williamson-ese’ here doesn't reach the painfully twee nadir of his show Dawson's Creek, but without something clever and substantial like SCREAM surrounding them, the characters sound empty and narcissistic. It's not uncommon to be hoping that the people you’re supposed to be rooting for in a slasher will be swiftly offed, but usually the viewer doesn't start praying for their deaths minutes into their introductory scene.

The worst offender is Ryan Phillippe, who spends the whole film either shouting or pouting. Does he feel left out as the only one of the central foursome who doesn't use their middle name? Or was he bitter from jealously watching FPJ chatting up SMG between takes while JLH was proving immune to his own charms? (Not to worry: he was about to meet Reese Witherspoon.)

To be fair, there are a couple of satisfying deaths, including Johnny Galecki taking a hook to the face in a scene that will elicit cheers from anyone who's ever accidently turned over to his perma-repeated TV hit The Big Bang Theory and been involuntarily exposed to that annoying squeaky voice. And Love Hewitt is a decent ‘final girl’, with her notorious ‘What are you waiting for?!’ scene giving us at least one pleasingly bonkers moment – but that just serves to emphasise how bang-average everything is around it.

The slasher renaissance briefly promised by LAST SUMMER barely lasted out the decade, and as the 20th Century lurched towards its close like Jason Voorhees with an arrow in his leg, horror veered instead towards found footage, thanks to THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT channelling (the infinitely superior) CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, before the grim likes of SAW and HOSTEL briefly popularised so-called ‘torture porn’.

So, in the end, the late ‘90s didn’t usher in a new wave of slasher classics after all. People only really remember this film because of how well it’s parodied in SCARY MOVIE.

It was probably for the best; some things are so much a product of their time that to attempt them again in a different era just leads to disaster. Or worse, a dullness that feels worse than death – by meat hook or otherwise.

But I will leave you on a more positive note: Christopher Landon's nu-slashers HAPPY DEATH DAY (2017), HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U (2019) and FREAKY (2020) are well worth your time.

Two stars out of five.

 

Valid use of the word ‘last’?  There were two sequels (coming soon, to a blog near you!), so clearly not.

What would a movie called I KNOW WHAT YOU DID FIRST SUMMER be about?  Most people’s first summers were spent lolling about in nappies and it’s hard to imagine what could possibly be worth knowing about that.

Previously:  THE LAST HORROR MOVIE 

Next time:  LAST TRAIN FROM GUN HILL  

Check out my books:  Jonathanlastauthor.com