THE LAST KISS (2006, Tony Goldwyn)

 

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Boy, it's tough getting older. Who'd have thought you could have it all, yet still be unhappy about losing your youth?

Starring  Zach Braff, Jacinda Barrett, Casey Affleck, Rachel Bilson, Marley Shelton

Written by  Paul Haggis

Produced by  Gary Lucchesi, Tom Rosenberg, Marcus Viscidi, Andre Lamal

Duration  104 minutes

 

 

Presenting THE LAST KISS: myths vs reality.

Myth: Movies about young people struggling with the transition from carefree adolescence to grown-up responsibilities tend to be insufferable.

Reality: Opening voiceover from Zach Braff: "I'm 29 years old; I'll be 30 next month. So far, I gotta admit that my life has turned out pretty great."

Then, at a dinner with her parents, his girlfriend (Jacinda Barrett) announces that she is pregnant. Cut to: slow zoom-in to a close-up of Braff's bemused and gormless face.

If this plotline had occurred in Braff's star-making sitcom Scrubs (more on which later), we could have cut away to a desk fan that gets hit in the blades with a lump of shit. Just like that bit in disaster spoof AIRPLANE.

Whichever way, we get the point.

It's immediately clear that we have here yet another man-child movie. See any number starring Seth Rogan (KNOCKED UP also features an unexpected pregnancy) or Will Ferrell (especially STEP BROTHERS) or Robin Williams (JACK).


Myth: These kinds of movies are even worse when the narrative is "My life is perfect ... so why am I not happy?"

Reality: It is mightily hard to sympathise with someone whose life is essentially being threatened with a downgrade from 'absolutely brilliant' to 'pretty great, all things considered.'

The worst cinematic offender has to be BRUCE ALMIGHTY (2003). Pity poor Bruce (Jim Carrey): he has a great job as a TV reporter, but craves a promotion to news anchor. When someone else gets the gig, he lashes out petulantly, then sulks off home to his extravagant apartment to be comforted by his gorgeous girlfriend, played by Jennifer Aniston.

Yes, the viewer can find it difficult to care about a protagonist's problems when, to quote CASABLANCA (a movie with genuine jeopardy), they don't amount to a hill of beans. It's especially challenging in something like THE LAST KISS, where the main struggle is letting go of adolescence. Newsflash: you don't have to settle down, get married, buy a house, have kids. No one is forcing you to; plenty of people never tick off all those boxes.

But if you do decide to follow that particular path, then for crying out loud, don't start moaning about it. Try to remember that there are people out there who crave what you have.

Braff's character's main complaint is that his life has become predictable, that there are no more surprises left. As if going out and getting pissed with his mates every weekend to is full of variety, and starting your own family is a straightforward, never-changing bore. Moron.


Myth: Scrubs is the most annoying sitcom of all time.

Reality: How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory are its main competitors, I'd say. Here in the UK, things like Mrs Brown's Boys and Miranda provide stiff competition.

But Scrubs is definitely on the list. It had that cartoonish, Ally McBeal hyper-reality that was inexplicably popular at the turn of the century.

Braff wasn't the only culprit of this irritation-athon, but he takes his share of the blame. And he definitely has the kind of face you'd like to punch. Often, his expression suggests that he is expecting to be punched: features in a grimace, as if bracing for the worst.

Myth: THE LAST KISS was Zach Braff's second movie as director.

Reality: It was actually helmed by another mostly actor, Tony Goldwyn. He's probably still best known for playing Patrick Swayze's supposed friend but actual rival in GHOST. Apparently he was part of OPPENHEIMER's ensemble, too, but so many people were in that I must have missed him. Oh and THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT remake, too.

No, Braff's actual second turn behind the camera, following on from acclaimed debut GARDEN STATE, was something called WISH I WAS HERE. Nope, me neither.


Myth: THE LAST KISS has a homoerotic subtext.

Reality: I started to suspect this when Casey Affleck, playing one of Braff's mates, warns our hero to not cheat on his girlfriend. What persuasive rhetoric does he employ? "She's perfect! She's just like a guy!" Weird thing to say.

So, naturally I started keeping an eye out for more homoerotica. But there didn’t end up being enough to call it a trend. There is a bit with Affleck on the receiving end this time (ooh-er, etc), when another man tells him "call me!" in a camp voice while making that telephone hand gesture.

Seems like THE LAST KISS would have been quite a different film if they'd put Affleck's character at the centre of it ...


Myth: These mid-noughties comedy-dramas haven't aged well.

Reality: Well, the soundtrack dates it: Snow Patrol, Athlete, Rufus Wainwright, early Coldplay. And some of the fashion: baggy clothes, more spiky hair and sideburns than you see these days, hardly any smart phones.

But it's certainly not as era-specific as things made in the 1990s or 1980s tend to be.


Myth: In fact, they don't really make these kinds of movies at all anymore.

Reality: It does feel like something that nowadays would be a Netflix show.

For one thing, it's very sub-plot-heavy. It's nearly an ensemble piece, like HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (2009) or WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING (2012). Braff's three friends all get their own arcs; as do Barrett's parents, played by reliable old-handers Blythe Danner and Tom Wilkinson.

Harold Ramis also pops up in a cameo that suggests a bigger role giving way during post-production.

Myth: Zach Braff is able to pull off playing a complex, conflicted character and make them sympathetic, despite their flaws.

Reality: Look, the angst he is going through is not uncommon. The malaise, the quarter-life crisis ... fair enough, fair enough.

But when he, a man in a committed relationship with a partner up the duff, accepts Rachel Bilson's college-age temptress’s flirtations, he erodes our goodwill by not immediately getting the fuck away from her.

Then, he gives her his number when she asks for it.

Then, he goes to meet her outside her college.

Then, he agrees to go to a frat party with her. Where he kisses her! And it's only then that he suddenly pulls away and says "No! This isn't right!"

But that's not the end. Because then, he has a minor tiff with Barrett and immediately runs back to Bilson and only goes and bloody shags her, right in her dorm room! (Not a euphemism.)

Not really endearing yourself to us, are you my man? And of course, Barrett finds out and is justifiably fuming.


Myth: After taking the hero's journey to a point as dire as the above, a film is never going to be able to get the audience back onside – especially with only a short-ish third act left to go.

Reality: OK, so here's the thing. THE LAST KISS did win me over in the end.

Braff doesn't get off the hook easily. He's made to suffer. He's genuinely repentant and seems to have learned his lesson. Everyone makes mistakes, people aren’t perfect and they can change. A good perspective, in my opinion. Actually rather refreshing, when the common dialogue today is more 'one strike and you're out, buddy'. (Am I really looking back on 20 years ago as a lost and more innocent time?)

I also liked how they wrapped it up: with a hint of hope, but no dramatic, cathartic resolution. Only the feeling that this young couple will have to work on things, and it may take a long time, and they might not succeed. But they are going to try.

And hey – at least the guy's not bored anymore! Am I right? Huh? 

Three stars out of five.

 

 

Valid use of the word ‘last’?  It's a a title that makes me think they couldn't come up with one and landed on that late in the day. THE LAST FLING would have been more accurate, but they probably wanted something softer to draw in the romcom crowd.

What would a movie called THE FIRST KISS be about?  I wouldn't have been surprised if that was one of the titles spit-balled for the Drew Barrymore vehicle NEVER BEEN KISSED.

 

Previously:  LAST THREE DAYS

Next time:  UNDISPUTED 2: LAST MAN STANDING 

Check out my books:  Jonathanlastauthor.com