THE LAST BUS (2021, Gillies MacKinnon)

 

* * * 

An old guy decides to travel from one end of the UK to the other by bus.

Starring  Timothy Spall, Phyllis Logan, Natalie Mitson, Ben Ewing

Written by  Joe Ainsworth

Produced by  Roy Boulter, Sol Papadopoulos

Duration  88 minutes 

"Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?"

– Jay, JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

Public transport and the glamour of movies. The two don't tend to mix.

That applies especially to buses. To use the bus is seen as a defeat, a symbol of shamefully low status. The most common onscreen utterance is some variation of "Don't take the smelly old bus!"

Buses don't ever feature in any positive or aspirational way. SPEED (1994) is the most famous example of making a bus central to the plot, but there's nothing desirable about taking the number 33 to Santa Monica. Sandra Bullock's character is only tolerating the journey because of a driving ban ("I like my car, I miss my car"). And a bus is only one of three places Dennis Hopper puts his bombs: it's a lift first, then the bus, then finally a train.

Beyond SPEED? Randomly, the year 2010 featured two movies with bus-riding protagonists, neither of whom are conventionally heroic. Michael Cera's Scott Pilgrim from SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD is an unlucky-in-love geek, whereas Roger Greenberg in GREENBERG (Ben Stiller) irritates everyone he meets.

Er, what else ... STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME (1986)? That bit with Spock and the punk's boombox?

Trains generally get better treatment. THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (1974) is a love letter to the New York subway. Liam Nesson foils a conspiracy on his train home in THE COMMUTER (2018). Tony Scott wringed rail-based thrills out of the PELHAM remake (2009) and, in his final film, UNSTOPPABLE (2010). Oh, then there are BULLET TRAIN (2022) and SNOWPIERCER (2013), movies that apparently some people like (but not me).

Cars, of course, are regularly fawned over in films. You can even get labelled an actual hero for racing around in one at dangerous speeds. But I'd say that among public transport, only the aeroplane regularly gets a good rap. Probably because it's the one thing that can handle journeys impossible by car.

So, traveling by bus is something that should only be endured in extreme circumstances. And yet in THE LAST BUS, we follow a person who voluntarily elects to use several of the things. What gives?

We open in 1952 with a young couple. The woman is unhappy and wants to move "as far as possible" away from their home in Land's End, Cornwall. As anyone who resides in the British Isles knows, they're already at one end of the country. The furthest they can go without crossing a body of water is northeast to John O' Groats, up in Scotland.

We then cut to that particular Scottish village, now in the present day. Same couple, except much older. Within minutes of screen time, she (Phyllis Logan) has sadly died of cancer. He, Tom (Timothy Spall), then decides to make the trip back to their old house in Cornwall. He concludes that the most practical way of doing this, owing to his advanced age and lack of car, will be by bus. (Not just one single bus, you understand. I did that once from London to Edinburgh, for only £5, non-stop. That was eight hours of pure fun, I can tell you.)

So Tom slowly makes his way southwest through the UK, bus by bus, meeting a range of characters as he goes. There's the disillusioned young lad who wants to join the army and is interested in Tom's WWII experiences. There's the Land Rover driver who needs a hand with his engine. There's the racist white man hassling a Muslim mother who Tom stands up to. There's the rowdy football fans, cartoonishly depicted in full colours, whose clash with a hen do is subdued by Tom singing 'Amazing Grace' with a local tramp.

Now, during many of these colourful incidents, where Tom intervenes to help turn a bad situation around, people pop up with their mobiles and film him in action. Then we see them tagging him on some kind of social media app. Hmm, wonder if that will come up again later.

We find out that, like his late wife, Tom has inoperable cancer. With not long left, he's doubly determined to complete his odyssey. And that's no matter how many bureaucratic bus drivers tell him his OAP pass isn't valid for this route; or how blown about by the wind he gets at a rural bus stop; or how many times he ends up in hospital with minor injuries. Plus he gets very defensive if anyone touches the old brown suitcase he lugs around with him, even if it's just a couple of kids at a Ukrainian family party he ends up getting invited to.

And, yes indeed, Tom has become a social media sensation, with people recognising him and offering to pay his bus fares. A cheering crowd greets him at his final destination, where the ultimate purpose of this cross-country exodus is revealed: that closely guarded suitcase contains his late wife's ashes, which he wants to scatter into the sea at the place they first met. Which he does, in a scene that plays like the non-comedic version of The Dude emptying the coffee can of Donnie's remains at the end of THE BIG LEBOWSKI. Tom also visits the grave of their daughter, whose death in infancy was the tragedy that spurred the couple to move so far away, all those years ago.

So, look. This is a performance film. It's an acting showcase for Mr Spall. That's all that really matters. And of course he delivers: lower lip protruding, mumbling to himself, all strong stuff. It's a sentimental film, it's a gentle film, it's a slight film. But, just like taking the bus, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Plus, it's better than THE LAST JOURNEY, although roughly on par with LAST PASSENGER.

Three stars out of five.

Valid use of the word ‘last’?  The last bus Tom takes will indeed be the last one he’ll ever take.

What would a movie called THE FIRST BUS be like?  More than 20% of the UK is covered by a bus operator called First Bus. But what happens when a conspiracy is uncovered by one enterprising driver, which goes all the way to the very top ... etc.

Previously:  UNDISPUTED 2: LAST MAN STANDING

Next time:  THE LAST TIME I COMMITTED SUICIDE  

Check out my books:  Jonathanlastauthor.com