*
That crazy fisherman is still not dead and he still knows. So even when our heroes go to the Bahamas, he still stalks them because he still can't let go.
Starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, Brandy, Mekhi Phifer, Freddie Prinze Jr, Bill Cobbs
Written by Trey Callaway
Produced by Neal H Moritz, Erik Feig, Stokely Chaffin, William S Beasley
Duration 101 minutes
Let's face it, a film like I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER has the odds stacked against it.
There's the assumption that a sequel will be rubbish. Yes, we all know the ones that turned out great and arguably better than the original, like ALIENS (agree), TERMINATOR 2 (disagree) and THE GODFATHER: PART II (too close to call). But the vast majority of follow-ups are either disappointing when compared to what came before or just plain bad.
And that anti-sequel prejudice becomes more pronounced the faster the new film arrives. I'm not talking about ones that were filmed together, like BACK TO THE FUTURE PARTS II and III or the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy or the second and third MATRIXS – those were pre-planned. I mean the one-year gap between the first two SCREAM movies, or between all of the first eight FRIDAY THE 13THS, except parts three and four and parts six and seven (when they left a whole two years between entries). Or how the first six NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREETS span a mere seven-year period.
So, it does tend to be horror franchises that ruthlessly churn 'em out. And yes, they do mostly suffer from diminishing returns.
But before I dismiss quickie horror sequel I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (released 13 months after the original), two other part twos come to mind, both unfairly written off in the annals of film history: GHOSTBUSTERS 2 and PREDATOR 2.
Someday, I'm going to do a scientific study. I'm going to watch GHOSTBUSTERS and GHOSTBUSTERS 2 back to back and log each time there's a good bit: a funny line, a memorable delivery, a genuine scare. Because I've watched the latter as many times as the former and I swear to God there is no drop in quality, none whatsoever. It may be a carbon copy in many ways, but before it resets to formula it does an imaginative (and hilarious) job of following through with its "five years later" premise. And with all the major players back in front of and behind the camera, they know how to make that formula enjoyable.
PREDATOR 2, meanwhile, was dismissed as a cash-in because neither Arnie or director John McTiernan returned. But what Stephen Hopkins delivered actually has a better cast (Danny Glover! Gary Busey! Bill Paxton! Maria Conchita Alonso! Ruben Blades! Robert Davi! Adam Baldwin! Steve Kahan!) and a sweaty, near-future urban milieu unique to itself. It should be terrible; it has virtually no plot and skips having a second act altogether, instead just rushing from set up to resolution without worrying about narrative development or escalation. But I love it!
Both those movies are also often referenced by unimaginative critics as a way of giving backhanded compliments to the franchise's legacy sequels, trawling out the trite observation "well, it's not great, but at least it's better than part two!" (See also: the criminally underrated INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM.)
The LAST SUMMER series itself is now receiving the legacy sequel treatment, too. But whatever the context, I was determined to avoid making any lazy assumptions about the quality of I STILL KNOW.
Silly me.
Let's start with the good. Jennifer Love Hewitt is a solid lead (she's back for the 2025 edition, having ducked out of the DTV part three), resourceful and compelling, more than capable of shouldering a multi-entry horror franchise like her Party of Five alumni Neve Campbell has been with SCREAM. Brandy, famous for singing 'The Boy is Mine', is a charismatic addition to the I STILL KNOW cast. For a while, it's fun to play 'spot the character actor': John Hawkes, Bill Cobbs, Jeffrey Combs, Mark Boone Junior ... um, how about a dreadlocked Jack Black, overacting as usual and playing Drexel from TRUE ROMANCE as in a weak SNL sketch? And, well, the Bahamas-during-monsoon-season setting is novel for a slasher. And ... er ... Freddie Prinze Jr also returns? Yay?
Unfortunately, quirky casting and impressive location scouting are about all I STILL KNOW has going for it.
So now onto the bad.
Its first sin is opening with a cheap fake-out opening, as JLH is attacked in a dream and wakes up having fallen asleep in her college class. From this inauspicious start, things never pick up. There is no suspense. There is no sense of dread. The jump scares barely elicit a tremor. And there are no decent kills – well, unless you count Jack Black’s, but only because it's satisfying to see him go. And Mekhi Phifer and Matthew Settle are saddled with the thankless roles of 'horny, insensitive jock' and 'no personality beyond wishing he was Freddie Prinze Jr', doing no one any favours. I spent most of the movie idly wondering how many of the poor cast came down with hypothermia due to every scene taking place in the pouring rain.
Plus, serious minus points for forcing a horrible alt-rock cover of New Order's 'Blue Monday' upon us during a cheesy 90's clubbing scene, following the original movie's butchering of ‘Summer Breeze’ by Seals & Crofts. Much more painful than anything a hook-handed grudge-bearing homicidal maniac could dole out.
Alright, alright. So sometimes our negative assumptions about movies do turn out to be correct. But hey – every now and then we're pleasantly surprised and get possessed bathtubs, sentient paintings and rivers of slime; or an alien hunter administering self-surgery in an elderly lady's bathroom while she hesitates outside brandishing a broom. A little misplaced optimism's gotta be worth the chance of getting that kind of stuff, hasn't it?
Next time you want a franchise sequel set in the Bahamas, go for JAWS: THE REVENGE. (Note: JAWS: THE REVENGE is a little underrated, but this is not a recommendation.)
One star out of five.
Additional: There used to be a trend for naming sequels with 'too' instead of '2', to imply 'as well'. SPLASH TOO, TEEN WOLF TOO, LOOK WHO'S TALKING TOO... so why didn't they do that here to both stop the title being chronological gibberish? I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER TOO sounds like a much better movie, maybe one that could have mixed things up by introducing a new villain.
Valid use of the
word ‘last’? JLH actually points out the inaccuracy herself by explaining how "two summers ago, we (etc etc)". Poor
show, whoever signed off on that title, I'm telling you.
What would a movie called I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID FIRST SUMMER be about? Excessive pride about having such a good
memory for early-years details.
Previously: LAST EXIT TO BROOKLYN
Next time: THE LAST TREE
Check out my books: Jonathanlastauthor.com
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