Written by Shane Black
Produced by Joel Silver, Michael Levy
Duration 105 minutes
There are certain points in history when the planets align, 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY-style, heralding another evolutionary step for the human race. And so it came to pass, as the 20th Century entered its final decade, that celestial bodies rearranged themselves in the heavens named Bruce Willis, Tony Scott, Joel Silver and Shane Black.
And what was this Star Child hence birthed among the cosmos? It was the one thus christened THE LAST BOY SCOUT.
Willis, Scott, Silver, Black … it’s a roll-call of names that graced the credits of innumerable ’80s and ’90s action classics. Not since SCARFACE (Pacino, De Palma, Bergman, Stone) or TOTAL RECALL (Schwarzenegger, Verhoeven, Vajna & Kassar, O'Bannon) had so many titans collaborated to create such an opus of thrilling big-screen mayhem.
Did they pull it off? Pretty much, even if by all accounts no one had a great time during the forging of this cinematic Excalibur. With so many egos among the principles tensions ran high, and that included the headline-grabbingly highly paid screenwriter. And after somehow making it to the end of production, legendary editors Stuart Baird (THE OMEN, SUPERMAN, DEMOLITION MAN) and Mark Goldblatt (THE TERMINATOR, COMMANDO, PREDATOR 2) had to be brought in to clean up a mess that director Scott was thoroughly sick of by then.
Fortunately, all the behind-the-scenes friction seemed to give the project a jagged energy that serves the material well. And out of all the competing voices, it really is Black’s that comes through the loudest – and a lowly writer making such an impression was no doubt met with resentment by the alpha male actor, director and producer.
There’s always a point in a Shane Black movie where he goes too far. In LETHAL WEAPON, it’s Riggs’ disgust at the suggestion that two females may have been entwined sexually. In THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT, it’s Craig Bierko threatening to ‘blind the kid and shoot out her knees’ minutes after finding out that said kid is his own daughter. THE NICE GUYS has a pre-teen asking Ryan Gosling if he wants to see his penis, whereas THE PREDATOR’S nadir came whenever Black decided that someone having Tourette's Syndrome is a never-ending well of comedy.
In THE LAST BOY SCOUT, it feels like the whole movie is that ‘too far’ point, although Willis holding a gun to his daughter’s head to persuade a stranger to hand over his car keys is probably the standout. (Along with Christmas, which features only briefly this time around courtesy of a ‘Satan Claws’ illustration, Black’s main calling card is throwing kids into violent situations – he even does it in IRON MAN 3.)
Here’s an early exchange between Willis and Wayans that captures the movie’s tone:
Wayans: "Hey, man, you ever play ball? You've got a good build."
Willis: "What are you, a fag?"
Wayans: "No, I'm just trying to break the ice."
Willis: "I like ice. Leave it the fuck alone."
Around the time of SIN CITY’S release, that film’s co-director Frank Miller described Bruce Willis as "this generation’s Humphrey Bogart". That would make THE LAST BOY SCOUT Willis’s MALTESE FALCON or THE BIG SLEEP (note how private detective-nut Black pays tribute to a non-Bogart Marlowe adaptation, THE LONG GOODBYE, in the title of one his other scripts). I concur with Miller’s observation, although I don’t remember Bogie ever being introduced waking up hungover in his car with a dead squirrel for company and then worrying about whether he had "fucked it to death".
This is a bleak film, where everyone is angry, washed-up, bitter, and horrible to one another. It takes self-loathing to a new high/low – the first words Willis utters are to his own frazzled reflection in the rear-view mirror, having thrown his fuzzy bunkmate out the window: "Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You’re gonna lose. Smile, you fuck". Wayans doesn’t fare much better, playing a once-promising athlete thrown out of the sport he loves for habitual drug use. It’s the murder of his girlfriend Halle Berry (who is, of course, a stripper and who seems to be test driving the silver hairdo she would later sport in X-MEN) that throws our heroes together, when she hires Willis as a bodyguard because she (rightly) fears for her life after finding out about some kind of shady conspiracy to legalise American football gambling, or something like that.
Yeah, the plot is never that important in a Shane Black movie; I’d defy anyone to remember LETHAL WEAPON’S actual story and that’s one we’ve all seen, often several times. These films are all about the bantering mismatched buddies, the quips and, of course, the action. Judged on those terms, THE LAST BOY SCOUT earns its merit badge.
Four stars out of five.
Valid use of the word ‘last’? Though not literal, the title’s wry cynicism is in tune with the rest of the film and so works in context.
What would a movie called THE FIRST BOY SCOUT be about? There doesn’t
appear to be a biopic of Robert Baden-Powell out there, so let me just consult
my rolodex for the contact details of a Mr J Silver, Hollywood, California …
Next time: GOON: LAST OF THE ENFORCERS
Check out my books: Jonathanlastauthor.com
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